Way Behind

I do not know why I can't remember to keep up with this. I write in my journal about his much too. :/

Homemade Baby Food

  Jacob started rice cereal 3 weeks ago. He was born ready to eat that.  He acted like he had been eating it for days. I couldn't put it in his mouth fast enough. Good thing. :)
  He started on veggies this week. Monday-Wednesday he had carrots for lunch with his cereal. Thursday and Friday he had butternut squash. So far so good.
  I spent most of the afternoon and evening making baby food. It is ridiculous how much organic baby food cost, so I'm making my own. I bought organic carrots, butternut squash and acorn squash to make baby food. After I steamed them separately in a steamer basket, I blended them in my food processor with a little water. I then poured most of it in ice trays to freeze. Each cube is approximately 2 Tbs. It is so much cheaper that way! Next I will be green beans and some peas. Then in a few weeks we will have some fruit.
  The last couple of days he has been on a 3 1/2 hr schedule. That is going much better than 3. He has a better appetite. But I think that it's time to move to 4hrs. He just isn't that interested in eating. I know he can go that long because he did it twice last Sunday.

       

Healthy Choices

  I've decided to eat healthier. This is week 2 and so far so good. :) Sunday was an exception because we went out with friends who picked a place that I think even fries their sweet tea! j/k
  I really don't mind eating healthy, in fact I enjoy a lot of vegetables and fruit. It is just always more convenient to grab some greasy potato chips when I need a snack. And since I do not buy healthy choices, of course I will default to MSG laden chips with a Pepsi (I love that carbonation and corn syrup).
  But, to the despair of my husband, I am no longer buying those things. Instead, we now have yummy alternatives. Such as fresh veggies to make a wonderful salad! I also really enjoy making a fresh smoothie of fruit and yogurt to go with my scrambled eggs for breakfast(need the protein). String cheese and crackers make a great snack! And homemade salsa is incredible with ANY meal(I make mine very spicy)! I am also trying to cook more fresh veggies as opposed to buying the cans. It most definitely takes more time to prepare for dinner, but it not only is better for you, it tastes better!  
 I really need to lose this left over pregnancy fat. I have 25lbs to go.  I've hit a plateau. I am unable to exercise with little J now that it is getting cold out. And I am unable to after Steve is back home because it's dark. I'm contemplating going for a jog when Steve's home for his lunch break, but I really enjoy the adult interaction. J's down for a nap at that time so he wouldn't have to watch him, but that's a good time for us to be together without our mocking bird(he's now making bird noises very loudly). Not sure yet.
  I'm also going to bed earlier. I have had sleep problems off and on all my life. But after the pregnancy it is worse than ever. I'm trying to get myself on a schedule to see if this helps. It's nice to have J sleeping through the night, but doesn't help me much when I can't sleep.

New family

  I am so excited that the Lord led us to be a part of Harvest church. I am filled with such mixed emotions. We did not want to leave our HHBC family, but headed out under the direction of Holy Spirit. After 5 months of searching, we finally found the people that God wants us to connect and begin a new life with. Our hearts yearn for our HH family more than words can describe. But with our new Harvest family we are eagerly expecting the power of Holy Spirit to transform us to be more like Christ! That means doing, not just memorizing, what Christ exemplified while He was on earth. I know that He is going to stretch us more than ever before. And our desire is to run straight into it. Not pulling away when its uncomfortable, but pressing on knowing that Father is transforming us to be more like His Son! All praise to Him for His marvelous grace. We are so unworthy for Him to invite us to know Him more, and yet His arms are open wide.

To Him who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb, be blessing and honor and glory and dominion forever and ever. Rev 5:13 

  Thank you, Father, for Your mercies are new EVERYDAY!!!

Sleeping Problems

  Another bad night. He woke up every 1 1/2 -2 hours. But, part of the problem is that he is moving around so much that he flips over and then can't go back to sleep. So I go in there every time and flip him back over and he immediately goes back to sleep. To night we will be doing CIO. This is not going to be fun.....but neither is getting up every hour of the night. He needs to learn to go back to sleep on his own....or flip himself back over. But it will be a while before we reach this point.
  What is puzzling me is why all of a sudden he is not going into a deep sleep at night?? 4 weeks of this is taking it's toll.

Teething

 My little man is teething. So the 11 hour nights are gone!! He started waking up every hour or hour and a half through out the night for 3 wks now!  I am about to pull my hair out (which I can literally do. It's been falling out for 2 months now). But I have adjusted his schedule and trying to work around it. The last 3 nights he has slept about 8 hrs before waking.
  He has also started rice cereal. He loves it!! I can't give it to him fast enough. He's eating that 3 times a day now. I think that has helped him sleep better.  

  I wish we could get the naps down. He is a 45 minute baby. No more no less, 45. It's amazing. I don't know how these moms get their kids to take longer naps. He will randomly take a hour and a half nap. Yesterday morning it was 2 hours.  Those are gifts. :)

2012

A New Year!

  On New Years eve of 2010, Heavenly Father spoke a word to me about the coming year of 2011. He told me that it would be a year of New Beginnings for us. I had no idea what that was going to entail. I had some desires as to what I hoped that would mean.
  I don't know how many tears I had shed over the previous 3 years or how many desperate prayers I prayed, pleading with God to change our circumstances. Nights of despair and going to bed angry at the Lord because He had forgotten us, or just didn't care. Days that were so dark we could hardly see. Oppression brought on by unseen spirits that felt as if I were literally in chains. It was such a dark time.
  Why is it, the truth you know and believe in the light, you forget or choose not to believe in the dark? Truth does not change with circumstances. And that was the only thing that got us through. Choosing to believe in His Word even when circumstances screamed that it was false. I can even remember the sick feeling I had in my stomach during that time. I remember like it was yesterday what that darkness felt like. Sometimes we could even physically see darkness in the daylight.
  But we completed the time the Lord set for us to be there. Praise to HIM who sits on the throne, He lead us out of that place! We had tried to leave on our own but it failed. But when it was time, the Lord went before us and made the way straight!
  Even though this is a new year and so many people are making their new year resolutions, I do not want to forget what the Lord has done in the previous year:

1) Countless conformations that it was time to move (unlike the years before)
2) Stephen applied for seminary
3) Sold our house in less than 3 months, on June 27th, 2011
4) On the morning of the signing, Stephen received his acceptance letter
5) The Lord provided us a place to live until we moved to the seminary, for free!!
6) We received more money from the sale of our house than we ever thought we could..lived off the money  for 6 months when Stephen quit his job. Paid off our mortgage, as well as our car note!
7) July 30th, 2011, Jacob Paul Jansen was born. 8.1 lbs 21" long. Beautiful healthy little boy!
8) August 18th, 2011 we moved to seminary housing.
9) December 14th, 2011, Stephen completed his first semester at Southwestern, his 30th birthday!!!
10) God continues to provide for us financially while we are here, growing our faith everyday!

  And now for 2012, we have finally found a new church family. On January 1st, we joined Harvest church. I get so excited thinking and anticipating what the Lord has in store for this new year. I know that it's not all going to be fun, but I know HE has so much more for us to learn about HIM! I am excited about getting to know my Savior even more this year than ever before! And I do not ever want to forget where HE has brought me from! HE has saved me by HIS wonderful grace! But not only saved me, but has invited me to love HIM and know HIM!!

Happy New Year!

Ft. Worth and Seminary Life

I hate going this long without updating. its overwhelming. :S But for the sake of looking back I will write.

  Our house sold! It was absolutely a work of God. The couple that I mentioned in the previous post was unable to get the financing for it. Very disappointing, but we knew God had something else in mind. Another lady contacted Misti and was interested in the house. Did a walk through and really liked it. She asked us to come down off the price by $8,500. We agreed with the understanding that it was "As is".  She asked to see it again the next day, and brought her Realtor's husband to look over the house (telling us that it was her friend). Well, they gave us a list a mile long of things they wanted us to do before she would buy it. It was a horrible experience. The Realtor was rude to Misti, and she insisted that we take care of the things they listed. I was so uncomfortable the whole time dealing with them. I just did not have peace in my heart about the whole thing. We finally agreed to do a few things on her list and began working on them. Now mind you, they had already given us their written word, and then went back on it. So now, they have to write a new offer. Well, the day the Realtor was to drop off the new offer at my house, I prayed and asked God to work all these details out. "We (Stephen and I)  don't have a clue what to do. You know that we are so uncomfortable with this. If this is not the right person for this house, then please intervene. We don't have any reason not to go forward with this unless you stop it. Please don't let anyone take advantage of us. We want this house to sell, but it is what You want that we desire more."
  Not even an hour later Misti calls and says that a family is interested in looking at the house. Since we did not have the written offer from the other lady yet, we decided to let them look at the house. They were coming around 6pm that evening. about lunch time I took a shower and was in my room, and I heard a lady in my house. She came down the hall and so I opened my door and it was a Realtor. She didn't know that I was home, and she came to show that family the house. They decided to come and see it early instead of 6pm without letting Misti know. (Scared me to death!)  I asked them to give me a few minutes and then left so they could look around. What I didn't know, was that the first Realtor that was dropping off the offer, showed up at the same time this family did (she was supposed to be there early that morning with the offer and called Misti several times saying that she was going to be late with it. Just couldn't get to our house.) . She got angry and didn't leave the offer. Called Misti and was very ugly to her.....
  During this time the family was looking at the house and loved it. They were willing to give us exactly what we were asking for it. Well, it's history now! They got the house! June 27th. And they were such a nice couple!
 We were just blown away at how God moved in this process. We had enough left over after paying off our house to pay off our car note as well, and still had several thousand left.
  We moved into Joel and Teresa's guest apartment (one room). Stephen applied to Southwestern and was accepted.
 On July 30th, at 8:50am, Stephen left with Joel to do some work at the
food pantry. 10 minutes later, as I was laying in bed, my water broke. I had no cell phone reception so I couldn't call him. I got our bags, added some last minute things to it, loaded it in the jeep, and drove myself to the hospital. I called Stephen as soon as I got to hwy 69. He was at the hospital when I got there. I was already at a 4 and quickly dilated. I wasn't feeling any pain yet.  Around 5pm they checked and I was at a 10. Pushed for almost 3 hrs but wouldn't come. His head had turned and so he got lodged. I had to have a C-section.  Jacob Paul Jansen was born at 8:20pm and weighed  8.1 lbs   What a joy it has been to be a mother. But, I do miss sleep. :)
  We moved 2 1/2 weeks later to our new home here in Ft. Worth. That was the hardest thing I have ever done. and it took a while to get adjusted. Jacob had colic really bad. ( I take that back...colic is the hardest thing I have ever been through) I had to put him on a lactose free formula. and 4 days later it was like a totally different child. He's been sleeping through the night since he was 7wks old. That is a gift from the Lord.

House For Sale

We faced a deep struggle and temptation last year in wanting to go to Southwestern. But the more we sought after it, the less peace we had. And finally, the Lord told us so clearly to wait.
Over the last months, we have felt the Lord telling us that it’s time to move in that direction. Every word that we receive from the Lord is “go”. This is totally different than last year, when every word was, “wait”. And I think the greatest thing of all is the peace from His Holy Spirit that we did not have before.
So for us right now, “Go” means that we need to sell our house.
It went on the market last Wednesday, May 4th. Thursday the 5th, Misti Peppard received a call from a couple wanting to look at it. They had already driven by and wanted to take a look on the inside. They set up an appointment for yesterday at 5:45pm.
I have asked so many to pray that if they are to get the house, that they would know as soon as they walked through the door. From the way Misti described, it sounds like God answered our prayer and beyond. They already wanted it before they even set foot inside. We are now waiting to see if they will be able to get financing. If they get pre-approved in the next 2 days, Misti will start working on the contract.
We know that the house belongs to the Lord. And He will sell it if that is His will in Heaven!

I am so thankful for Misti Peppard who is showing our house for us. She is such a blessing. We would be pulling our hair out trying to do this on our own.

Calling

   I know that Jesus did not die on the cross so that i could just go to church on Sunday mornings. There is a very specific reason that the Father called me into knowledge of His Son. We know, because of so many references in the Scripture, that the reason we were created and why He saved us, was to bring Himself glory. ( a few being: Is 43:6-7, Jer 13:11, Psalm 106:8, Rom 3:23)
   But there is a very unique and specific calling for me. One that He had in mind before I was even born.  Paul and Barnabas were called out by His Holy Spirit for a specific mission.
Acts 13:2 "While they were ministering to the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, "Set apart for Me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them."

   In that passage it does not say what the specific calling was on the two. But He had obviously told them.  When Paul wrote some of the letters to the churches, he told what his calling was.  (Rom 1:1; 1 Cor. 1:1; Gal 1:15-16)

 Can you bring Him the most glory from your life without knowing a specific calling?  Could Paul have been as effective in spreading the gospel if he had not received a specific calling? 
     He knew he was called to preach the gospel to the gentiles. He had his target, so he could stay on mark.  That was how God wanted to glorify Himself in Paul.
  Think of how much time we waste when we do not know our calling. We stand around not knowing what to do.

 2 Peter 1:10b "Therefore, Brethren, be all the more certain His calling and choosing you;"

1 Thes. 5:24 "Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass."

Laryngitis

Day 4 with no voice.

Man, it is crazy how much I depend on it. It's such a natural thing. My job even depends on it. 2 weeks now not working. That's going to hurt.

Mother's day was interesting. All I could do was whisper. And with some not able to hear very well with my normal voice, it made for some very frustrating conversations. And since most cannot read lips, words were a completely useless form of communication. :D

But the hardest has not been the lack of conversations with others. It was the first day, on Sunday.
The team was leading us in worship and I opened my mouth to sing, and nothing came out. It broke my heart. I wanted so badly to sing! I felt like I couldn't worship as much without my voice. but then it hit me....

When you get so used to worshiping God in a certain way at a certain place, I think it becomes more of a habit. Why else would I feel that I couldn't worship as well in that setting? It's so routine I don't even recognize it.

I love that I can sing. And I love that the Lord has called me to sing. But I must not love singing for God more than I love God.

In My Utmost For His Highest, Oswald Chambers writes, "Your god may be your little Christian habit-the habit of prayer or Bible reading at certain times of your day. Watch how your Father will upset your schedule if you begin to worship your habit instead of what your habit symbolizes."

Wait

Jer 29:28

It's going to be a long time!

This is the message I am getting from the Lord. We have prayed and dreamed, but the answer that was given was, "Not now."
This caused deep pain. I have struggled with this and wrestled with God until i can struggle no longer. All thats left is to surrender.
So what is it that we are staying for? What work is He doing in us that is not completed?
So many questions.
But my heart is filled with hope again that He spoke. Even when it's not what you want to hear, there is still life in His words. How great is our God!

Pursuit

You know, when you pursue and chase after, you can tire quickly.

Sometimes it's nice to

BE

Pursued.

O.K., so this is where I'm at...
Absolutely stuck here. Though the solution seems simple enough, I haven't done a thing about it!

James 1:22 "But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves."

Romans 2:13 "for it is not the hearers of the Law who are just before God, but the doers of the Law will be justified.

James 1:25 "But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does."

I do not want to be merely a "hearer" of the Word; I want to be a "doer"! But the sad fact of the matter is: I only memorize Scripture, I do not live it!

I must tell this wonderful analogy by Francis Chan. See if this sounds familiar to you.

I am paraphrasing:

[ My daughter knows better than to come back to me after I have told her to clean her room and say, "Dad, I thought about what you said. I even memorized it in Greek. Later I'm going to have my friends over and we are going to discuss what it would look like to clean my room." ]

I would have never told my dad that. But for some reason, I think that it's O.K. when Jesus tells me to do something.
How in the world, when I am standing before HIM and giving an account of all I did for him, can I look at Him, with the scares in His hands, and maybe even the ones on His brow, and tell Him all of the little memory verses I know???
Just think about that.

Now I am not belittling memorizing the Holy Scriptures. You can not be a doer of the Word without first knowing the Word. But we are merely hearers. I can't think of anyone that I would call a "radical" for Jesus Christ. To me, someone who is radical is someone who lives like Jesus.

So the question for me becomes, What do I do? What is it going to take for my life to be radically changed for the name and renown of Jesus Christ?

Southwestern

We are going to tour Southwestern Theological Seminary next Wednesday on spring break. We are praying diligently that the Lord would be clear weather we should go to this school or not. This is what we want to do. We are praying that He will tell us if that's what He wants. We hate where we are. I don't know how much longer we can take. We need a breakthrough! We are begging God that we will be able to start in the fall. We are quite honestly passed depression and consumed in despair. Yes we want out. But I do not want a Hagar! I want to wait for the Lord.

After the tour, we are leaving to go on a much needed camping trip. We have not been able to get away for a while. But we are going if the weather is good. I know this will help refresh us to get away from everything. And I am looking forward to spending time with the Lord away from the distractions of everyday life.

Those who wait on the Lord

A day seems like an eternity. A week is gone as soon as you blink.

It's never fun while waiting on the Lord. But Oh how much greater the prize the longer the wait!

" those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary." Isaiah 40



Nat Jansen

The Engagement

What a day it will be when we are married to the Lamb!
We are to spend our time getting to know the One
whom we will marry. Enjoy the courtship to the king!

Courtship: 1. the wooing of one person by another.
2. the period during which such wooing takes place

As a man gives an engagement ring to that special girl as a sign that they will be married,
so He gives His Holy Spirit as a promise that He is coming!

There is going to be a wedding! Are you engaged to the KING!?!

2 Corinthians 5:4-5 "For indeed while we are in this tent, we groan, being burdened, because we do not want to be unclothed but to be clothed, so that what is mortal will be swallowed up by life. Now He who prepared us for this very purpose is God, who gave to us the Spirit as a pledge."

How bad do you want it?

"Now about that time Herod the king laid hands on some who belonged to the church in order to mistreat them. And he had James the brother of John put to death with a sword. When he saw that it pleased the Jews, he proceeded to arrest Peter also Now it was during the days of Unleavened Bread. When he had seized him, he put him in prison, delivering him to four squads of soldiers to guard him, intending after the Passover to bring him out before the people. So Peter was kept in the prison, but prayer for him was being made fervently by the church to God. On the very night when Herod was about to bring him forward, Peter was sleeping between two soldiers, bound with two chains, and guards in front of the door were watching over the prison. And behold, an angel of the Lord suddenly appeared and a light shone in the cell; and he struck Peter's side and woke him up, saying, "Get up quickly " And his chains fell off his hands. And the angel said to him, "Gird yourself and put on your sandals." And he did so. And he said to him, "Wrap your cloak around you and follow me." And he went out and continued to follow, and he did not know that what was being done by the angel was real, but thought he was seeing a vision. When they had passed the first and second guard, they came to the iron gate that leads into the city, which opened for them by itself; and they went out and went along one street, and immediately the angel departed from him. When Peter came to himself, he said, "Now I know for sure that the Lord has sent forth His angel and rescued me from the hand of Herod and from all that the Jewish people were expecting." Acts 12:1-11

I don't believe that I will ever truly comprehend the depth of prayer. But I have seen and heard what He does when His children are on their faces before Him.

We want so many things, good things. We want our families to be saved. We want healing. We want miracles in those impossible situations. We want to see a move of His Holy Spirit. We want, dare I say it, Revival in the land! We want our churches everywhere to be burning with passion for His Name! To carry out His vision. But do we really want those things? I submit that we do not! It's just talk! It sounds good to us, just like going on vacation sounds good.

There's only one thing that brings those to us, PRAYER.
And I'm not talking about the little prayers that you shoot God's way in the morning before you rush off to do YOUR business for the day. I'm not talking about the half hearted prayer you mutter because it's the thing to do. That's NOT Prayer!

I'm talking about anguish, fasting, keeping you up at night, labored prayer. If you've never seen God do a great work through your family, then you haven't labored for it. If you've never seen Him do a great work through your church, then you haven't labored for it! If you are facing an impossible situation, why would you do anything else but drop to your knees in prayer? It doesn't matter how long it takes for you to get an answer, you stick it out and fight in prayer to the end.
Where are the people who are on their faces before a Holy God with prayer and fasting?
If you are not praying, then you don't want it! It's that simple.

From reading Acts 12, this is what we know happens when people are praying:

Chains are broken
The enemy is blinded
Doors open by themselves &
People's lives are saved

That should be enough to keep us on our face.

Nat

Promises

I know that God's Word is Truth. For He is God and cannot lie. So therefore, He cannot write or inspire a book that is full of lies. So when we read promises in His Word, and are trying to claim them and it's just not working out, why is it that we would assume that God doesn't keep His Word? That we cannot trust Him? We doubt His goodness.

I have been in John chapters 14, 15, & 16 for several months now. It is just loaded with promises straight from the mouth of our Lord Jesus Christ.

There are so many in chapter 14 alone that blows my mind.

The works I do, you will do also, even greater works (14:12)

Whatever you ask in My name, that I will do (14:13)

If you ask anything in My name, I will do it (14:14)

I will disclose Myself to you (14:21)

We will make our abode with you (14:23)

Whatever you wish will be done for you (15:7)

Whatever you ask for in My name, so the Father may give it to you (15:16)

If you ask anything in My name, He will give it to you (16:23)

Ask and you will receive, sot hat your joy may be made full (16:24)

There are times when I absolutely anguish over Scripture. When the Holy Spirit leads me into a passage and I wrestle with it over and over. To me I think the passage to be elementary. I should already know this. He leads me to common verses, if the Word of God can be common, and I realize it's depth. I read it, but yet do not have understanding. I see it, but just like these verses above, they do not "SEEM" to be right. I have asked the Lord for things I wish. Even unselfish things. I have asked that this person be healed. I have asked that my parents are able to sell their house so they can move closer. I have asked that the Lord give this person a job, or fix that or do this. In my limited knowledge it seems the most logical solution. So why would God not do it?

But yet, those promises are still there. And if I know that He does not and can not lie, then I am missing something.....and so began my journey.

After reading this over and over again, pleading with the Holy Spirit to teach me, He finally gave me a little hint.

One Sunday afternoon a couple of months ago, I had the most horrible head ache that I had had in a while. It was bad enough that i probably could have gone to the ER. But instead i retreated to my carport outside with my Bible in my lap, opened up to John

I don't know how many stories I have heard from people that were angry at God because they read something in the Bible and then it doesn't happen. Or they were told by a person in ministry leaders position that they were intitled to something, and they DID have enough faith, but it didn't happen. Example-

There is a man who's mother was sick. She was dying of cancer. Their pastor told them if they had enough faith, that she would be healed and would not need to have treatment. She died!

Now he is left wanting nothing to do with a god that is so mercifulless, and nothing to do with his people.

That is an extreme case I suppose

January

I am waiting for January. I'm not exactly sure what is going to happen, but if I am understanding the Holy Spirit correctly.....something big is going to happen for Stephen and I.
Every day crawls by. i wish I could write a little of what He is showing me, but not clear on it yet. But hope is rising!
Too bad you can't speed time up with an energy drink.