You know...I do the exact same thing. I haven't always been like that. It's just been in the last 3 years. So many things (that were not so good) happened to me and my family all at one time, and then just dragged on. I started distancing myself. It took a lot out of me. Now I avoid any relationship( or job ) that I feel like it is draining me! I cringe inside just thinking about those people or situations!! And for some reason, Steve and I both attract those kind of people!! lol I think there must be a sign above me that I can't see that says"Dump your burdens here!" That's terrible, I know. :-)
The bottom line is, I have sinned! I have become very selfish! It not only hurt my relationships with my family and friends, but I am not very close to God anymore. I have pulled away from everything. Slowly but surely. I didn't even realize it. I got to the point where I was numb to everything.
The Lord is healing my mind and my heart now. But it is a slow process. Now I have to fight my very lazy mind to keep it from closing down on me when I get into a situation that will require more of me.......more of my heart.
I am ready to move out of this! I want to love others more than I love being comfortable! It's going to be a battle. I am not looking forward to this.....
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Replying to Christina's Blog
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1 comment:
well I'll pray for you and you can pray for me! Its funny you said that about how you and Stephen seem to attract "those" types of people. Blake and I have talked about Stephen before - about how much we respect how he loves people - not people that make him look good or will in the natural realm benefit him - but those that need a friend. At the end of his life he will have a room full of people that knew he loved them just for who they were and not for any selfish reason.
On another note, there has to be a line somewhere, though, right? I mean there are people out there who would take, take, take until there was nothing of you left. I just need to find that line, I guess instead of veering way over to the completely withdrawn area.
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