O.K. I have had some thoughts running through my head for a while. And I am going to attempt to write them down. It will probably make sense only to me. But that's O.K. because I will feel better getting some of this out! :o)
My dreams. There has been one dream that has pulled at my heart for as long as I can remember. Anytime I would hear it or watch an advertisement about it, it would pull at me! Something would come alive inside! I wouldn't hear or be around it very often, but when I was, this voice, a familiar one - a voice that I had heard before would say....."I want to be a part of that! I was made for this!"
But I would walk away, or the advertisement would go off and the voice would go silent. I would "forget"- go on surviving, living out my Christian life. Doing the right thing. And yet, something was missing. Or may be just covered up?!
It would try to surface, and out of fear I would push it down again. 'Forgetting it'. I don't understand. How simple it is! What was it that scared me!? Why was I so afraid to let my heart feel?
But giving up my dreams and surrendering to the dreams that God has for me has brought me to a whole new level of understanding what it means to die so that Christ may live. And what I have found was that God's dreams are what I wanted all a long! It was HIS voice that was familiar that I heard. Why did I try to deny for so long what I truly wanted!?! Was it caused from feeling worthless, or feeling like I just couldn't measure up? May be feeling as though my life didn't count for anything? "Nothing special here!" and so believing the lie that this is the way it's going to be and nothing can change that.
I made the mistake, as countless other Christians have, of misinterpreting what Christ meant when he said that " I came that they might have life, and have it abundantly!" (John 10:10) I have always thought that he was referring to heaven. While that is something that us as followers of Jesus Christ have to look forward to, I believe that he meant so much more for us here. And it starts with the new heart. I love that my old one died and that there is something in it's place. How awesome is that?! Not only did He wash all of the sin off, but He completely did away with the heart that was stained in the first place! "Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a NEW Creation; the old things passed away; Behold, NEW things have come."
So I must live out of my heart! It is NEW and it is righteous! My body is the Holy Place, but my HEART is the Most Holy Place ( the Holy of Holies) the actual dwelling place of God (the Spirit). So in actual REALITY, allowing my heart to live is actually allowing Christ to live in Me!!
So, when my heart sings, I will listen!! For it is a melody strait from God Himself.
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