Monday, May 17, 2010


   I know that Jesus did not die on the cross so that i could just go to church on Sunday mornings. There is a very specific reason that the Father called me into knowledge of His Son. We know, because of so many references in the Scripture, that the reason we were created and why He saved us, was to bring Himself glory. ( a few being: Is 43:6-7, Jer 13:11, Psalm 106:8, Rom 3:23)
   But there is a very unique and specific calling for me. One that He had in mind before I was even born.  Paul and Barnabas were called out by His Holy Spirit for a specific mission.
Acts 13:2 "While they were ministering to the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, "Set apart for Me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them."

   In that passage it does not say what the specific calling was on the two. But He had obviously told them.  When Paul wrote some of the letters to the churches, he told what his calling was.  (Rom 1:1; 1 Cor. 1:1; Gal 1:15-16)

 Can you bring Him the most glory from your life without knowing a specific calling?  Could Paul have been as effective in spreading the gospel if he had not received a specific calling? 
     He knew he was called to preach the gospel to the gentiles. He had his target, so he could stay on mark.  That was how God wanted to glorify Himself in Paul.
  Think of how much time we waste when we do not know our calling. We stand around not knowing what to do.

 2 Peter 1:10b "Therefore, Brethren, be all the more certain His calling and choosing you;"

1 Thes. 5:24 "Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass."

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


Day 4 with no voice.

Man, it is crazy how much I depend on it. It's such a natural thing. My job even depends on it. 2 weeks now not working. That's going to hurt.

Mother's day was interesting. All I could do was whisper. And with some not able to hear very well with my normal voice, it made for some very frustrating conversations. And since most cannot read lips, words were a completely useless form of communication. :D

But the hardest has not been the lack of conversations with others. It was the first day, on Sunday.
The team was leading us in worship and I opened my mouth to sing, and nothing came out. It broke my heart. I wanted so badly to sing! I felt like I couldn't worship as much without my voice. but then it hit me....

When you get so used to worshiping God in a certain way at a certain place, I think it becomes more of a habit. Why else would I feel that I couldn't worship as well in that setting? It's so routine I don't even recognize it.

I love that I can sing. And I love that the Lord has called me to sing. But I must not love singing for God more than I love God.

In My Utmost For His Highest, Oswald Chambers writes, "Your god may be your little Christian habit-the habit of prayer or Bible reading at certain times of your day. Watch how your Father will upset your schedule if you begin to worship your habit instead of what your habit symbolizes."

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


Jer 29:28

It's going to be a long time!

This is the message I am getting from the Lord. We have prayed and dreamed, but the answer that was given was, "Not now."
This caused deep pain. I have struggled with this and wrestled with God until i can struggle no longer. All thats left is to surrender.
So what is it that we are staying for? What work is He doing in us that is not completed?
So many questions.
But my heart is filled with hope again that He spoke. Even when it's not what you want to hear, there is still life in His words. How great is our God!

Thursday, March 11, 2010


You know, when you pursue and chase after, you can tire quickly.

Sometimes it's nice to

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

O.K., so this is where I'm at...
Absolutely stuck here. Though the solution seems simple enough, I haven't done a thing about it!

James 1:22 "But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves."

Romans 2:13 "for it is not the hearers of the Law who are just before God, but the doers of the Law will be justified.

James 1:25 "But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does."

I do not want to be merely a "hearer" of the Word; I want to be a "doer"! But the sad fact of the matter is: I only memorize Scripture, I do not live it!

I must tell this wonderful analogy by Francis Chan. See if this sounds familiar to you.

I am paraphrasing:

[ My daughter knows better than to come back to me after I have told her to clean her room and say, "Dad, I thought about what you said. I even memorized it in Greek. Later I'm going to have my friends over and we are going to discuss what it would look like to clean my room." ]

I would have never told my dad that. But for some reason, I think that it's O.K. when Jesus tells me to do something.
How in the world, when I am standing before HIM and giving an account of all I did for him, can I look at Him, with the scares in His hands, and maybe even the ones on His brow, and tell Him all of the little memory verses I know???
Just think about that.

Now I am not belittling memorizing the Holy Scriptures. You can not be a doer of the Word without first knowing the Word. But we are merely hearers. I can't think of anyone that I would call a "radical" for Jesus Christ. To me, someone who is radical is someone who lives like Jesus.

So the question for me becomes, What do I do? What is it going to take for my life to be radically changed for the name and renown of Jesus Christ?

Tuesday, March 09, 2010


We are going to tour Southwestern Theological Seminary next Wednesday on spring break. We are praying diligently that the Lord would be clear weather we should go to this school or not. This is what we want to do. We are praying that He will tell us if that's what He wants. We hate where we are. I don't know how much longer we can take. We need a breakthrough! We are begging God that we will be able to start in the fall. We are quite honestly passed depression and consumed in despair. Yes we want out. But I do not want a Hagar! I want to wait for the Lord.

After the tour, we are leaving to go on a much needed camping trip. We have not been able to get away for a while. But we are going if the weather is good. I know this will help refresh us to get away from everything. And I am looking forward to spending time with the Lord away from the distractions of everyday life.

Friday, March 05, 2010

Those who wait on the Lord

A day seems like an eternity. A week is gone as soon as you blink.

It's never fun while waiting on the Lord. But Oh how much greater the prize the longer the wait!

" those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary." Isaiah 40

Nat Jansen